Did separated parents get the Christmas presence they were looking for?

Did you have difficulties seeing your child or children over the Christmas holidays? Did you not get as much quality time with them as you had hoped?  If so, we are here to help. 

Any holiday period, be that Christmas, Easter or summer, should be a time for parents to spend good, quality time with their children. However, that is not always the case, particularly when the child's parents are separated, as this can often make it more difficult for an agreement to be reached as to who the child will be with, and when, over the holiday period.  In addition, with blended families becoming more common, there is often a multitude of factors and people that need to be considered in arranging said holiday contact.  This is particularly the case over the Christmas holidays.  

So, if you found yourself in a situation where your festive break didn't quite go to plan, what can you do? 

1. Plan, plan and plan.   Make sure to plan early.  Academic calendars are released well in advance, so you should refer to them and try and discuss matters with your ex-partner as soon as possible.  This will hopefully avoid any plans already having been made by either of you, and by directly speaking with your ex-partner, hopefully, an agreement regarding the holidays can be reached without issue.  Again, with blended families becoming more common, there will likely be several calendars which need to be taken into account, so the sooner you start this conversation, the better.  This is never more the case than over the Christmas holidays when carol concerts, trips to see Santa and spending time with the wider family unit are likely to take place.  
2. Wait. Do not book anything until it is all agreed upon.  In many cases, the sooner activities are booked the better, and cheaper!  However, to avoid frustrations or disappointments further down the line, if matters aren’t agreed upon, don’t make the booking or commitment.  You should try and agree on the arrangements in writing first before making that booking – that can even be via text message or email so that you have a written record of what is agreed.  Alternatively, if a solicitor is involved, it could be agreed in writing between your respective solicitors.
3. Agree on indirect contact too.  Agree with your ex-partner what indirect contact between the child and the parent who is not with the child/children on that particular special day (Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, etc) will look like.  How often will the indirect contact take place? Will it be via text, phone or video call?  Again, get this sorted early to avoid any unnecessary arguments or upset during this time. 

If, after taking the above steps, you are still unable to get the arrangements agreed upon, then there are a multitude of ways family solicitors can help if you are facing this problem.  Often, this issue can be resolved through solicitors discussing matters without the need to go to court to ask the sheriff for an order granting holiday contact – and we will endeavour to do this for you whenever possible.  However, sometimes going to court for an order is the only option and we can help you with that.  We are very experienced in helping parents navigate this, sometimes tricky process and so, please do get in touch if you need help.  And, the sooner you get in touch with us, the better so that we can work to resolve matters well in advance of the wrapping paper, mince pies and crackers having to be bought!